Worst Thursday Ever

I woke up feeling hot and sweaty but I was still shivering. I was praying my clock was 3 hours fast and I still had time to sleep. My throat was scratchy and my nose was plugged. I forced myself to get out of bed. My legs felt like noodles, but I managed to get myself dressed and all ready for school in 10 minutes. I stumbled to the couch half awake and dozed off. I came in and out of reality. The next thing I knew my mom was telling me to get ready to leave. English…a dizzy blur. In P.E., I was desperate to sleep. The gym floor never looked so comfortable. Algebra 2 was a mess of numbers. Then…I swore I was in hell. A.P. Biology was so overwhelming. I was sitting in the lab watching Mrs. Vehrs explaining how our really boring lab worked. My eyes glazed over and I spaced out until she said, “Get started.” Nothing she said registered into my brain and I was lost. I just kept thinking that she was lucky I was even there. At a certain point I just wanted to break down into tears, rip my lab in to shreds, and storm out of the room. To say the least, I have been hanging around my sister for too long. Anyways, the bell finally rang and it was on to French 2. Speaking in French is hard enough, but when your nose is plugged and your voice is gone, it’s not fun. I had a presentation to give that day and pronunciation was a huge part of the overall grade. Just my luck! I don’t even remember how it went. I was just thankful it was over with. Then, I looked up at the clock and slowly got out of my seat when I saw that it was 2:40. It was time to leave school and enter the world of obnoxious and impatient parents with their sickly kids. In case you didn’t already guess, I hate doctor’s offices. I was there for over an hour and I found out that they didn’t know what I had, so they were just going to treat me for a sinus infection. To sum it up, the appointment was a waste of time. But I was happy I was finally able to leave. When I got home, I did as little homework as I possibly could so I could get in the shower. Once on the couch again, I heard bits and pieces of my sister’s new favorite T.V. show. I got up to go eat dinner. I shoveled it in and popped my pills. I wanted to go to bed. Finally, I am in my warm bed and ready to end the worst Thursday ever.

Growing Up

Last weekend, I was studying like crazy! With the amount of studying I was doing, you would think I was preparing for my AP Bio final. But, I was studying, out of free will, for my permit test. I was determined to pass it the first time and nail the 46 question test. I had taken so many practices tests online, but I was still nervous and scared that I wouldn’t pass. Well, all that studying paid off. I aced my test and the next thing I knew, I had made an appointment for my first driver’s training session. I was excited and couldn’t believe that I was going to be able to drive. But suddenly, my mind began to fast forward.

I began to realize that I am growing up faster than I thought. My 16 birthday is this year. I am going to get my license. Two years from now I’ll be in the last semester of my senior year. Then I’ll be moving out, living on my own, and going to college. For some reason, reality hit me hard. I mean, I knew all of this stuff was coming, but I didn’t realize just how fast. College has been something I have thought about forever, but it seemed so far away. Not anymore, it feels like it’s just around the corner. It’s bittersweet. I want to leave Porterville and move on to bigger and better things but I’ll be leaving people I love and everything I’ve known.

Life flies by, but it is up to you whether you want to make every moment out of it or not.  It seems like yesterday that I was complaining about wearing my “stupid uniform” and making my way through elementary and junior high school.  I remember looking at high school students and thinking how grown up they were and how I couldn’t wait to get there.  Well, here I am and I find myself almost half way done.  I had always been told that time goes by faster when you are older and I am discovering that statement to be true.  I want to grow up, I want to go away to college, and I want to begin the rest of my life.  However, it never fully cemented in my brain that doing that meant leaving a huge piece of what I cherish behind.

An Unforgettable Experience

In my English class with Ms. Reed, we were talking about what to expect on the CAHSEE. Part of this exam consists of a timed essay. In order to prepare for this, we did a practice timed essay. The topic was an unforgettable experience. I searched through my memory trying to find an experience that made me who I am. The first thing that came to mind was my freshman year. I dug deeper to try to find a specific event. Freshman year was crazy, but the biggest thing that happened to me was my first heartbreak. So, in my essay I poured my heart out and I painted the page with my feelings. For a long time, I was too scared to talk about how I felt, but this essay helped me express myself. So here it is...

Freshman year is one of the hardest times in a girl's life. New school, new friends, puberty, life changing experiences, and BOYS!!!

High school is like a new beginning. You can change your style and even your whole image. But, a young teenage girl's biggest desire is to have a boy's affection. Our whole world at this time revolves around trying to impress boys or catch their attention.

This was me! By the beginning of my freshman year, I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. My boyfriend seemed so perfect and sweet to me. He had no flaws in my eyes because I thought I was in love. We went to different schools, but I thought we still maintained a great relationship. I blushed at the sound of his name. I smiled when we would make eye contact and look away. He even bought me a promise ring for Christmas. My life seemed like a dream. But sooner or later, you have to wake up.

On January 23, it seemed like my whole world fell apart. We had just celebrated our 13 month anniversary and I thought nothing could stand in our way, But, in that dark January I received a text from my boyfriend saying he didn't want me anymore. I cried and asked him why. He told me that he didn't know what he wanted anymore and was afraid to disappoint me because he wasn't a very good boyfriend. It really hurt me that he thought that little of me that he had to dump me in a text. I felt so empty and useless. I cried for days hoping that it had all just been a nightmare and that I would be jolted awake by my alarm. Unfortunately, the days dragged on.

But, by the end of May, I felt like a new person, a stronger person. It took me a while to realize that the break up was not my fault. As time passed, I discovered myself and knew that everything was going to be okay. The nightmare was finally ending.

It still amazes me how quickly your life changes focus. One day you can be totally in love with someone, and the next, you can despise them. Even though my ex-boyfriend put me through a lot, I want to thank him. This unforgettable experience showed me that time really does heal. I am now a stronger person and I now know that even though something may seem horrible at the time, it is a blessing. I would not be the person that I am today without him. :)